1 min read

How to skip a day of posting to your blog

A handy guide on how to effectively miss a day of writing.

Get up early. Do your morning writing, but skip doing a first draft of your blog post. Pack for a trip. Drive four hours. While your wife drives, do a few sentences on your phone.

Arrive at your destination and do errands for your mother. Once finished, pick up your own groceries.

Now, this is the important part: as you leave the grocery store, let your wife trip and hurt herself. This is the turning point of the day.

Drive to the cabin. Go standup paddle-boarding. Return to the cabin and drink with your wife. She doesn’t do it often—once every twenty years—but her face hurts, and she wants to numb the pain.

Once you’re both drunk, go for a walk. She’ll be silly, and you’ll both laugh a lot.

Start a fire. Drink some more. Laugh some more.

Your son will call you. You’ll need to guide him on how to break into your house after he’s forgotten his keys.

It’ll be dark by the time you go inside. The furthest thing from your mind is the blog post.

Go to sleep.

Wake up and don’t worry about the missed day. Write two blog posts: one proper one and one that explains why you missed the day before.

Once you’re done, your wife will be awake. Check on her. She feels beat up, but okay.

Enjoy the memories of the previous day. It sucked but also will be a day you two will remember.


Postscript

As if to add insult to injury, our son called a few hours after I posted this story to tell us someone stole his bike. The perpetrator had also left half a pant leg.

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