Expanding and Shrinking
My apologies for the late delivery.
Hello everyone,
Back in June, I wrote about sitting at a coffee shop in Montreal, working out of a sling bag with just my phone and a folding keyboard. I had shrunk my life down to the essentials, fitting my writing into whatever gaps I could find between caring for my sister.
And for a while, it seemed to work. I wrote on my phone on walks home from the hospital, in the mornings before visiting Judy and in between visits. I got eight stories down. I was happy with my results.
Then my sister passed away, and the writing stopped.
Nothingness
Last month, I wrote that at the center of myself, I found an emptiness. I thought if I could write towards it, or through it, and get to the other side. I tried several times, but never could get past.
Also last month, I was hoping to attend an upcoming spoken word event. I’d planned to participate, but a few days before, I practiced the piece I had chosen and hated how it sounded. It read fine on the page, but when spoken aloud, it was clunky. I tried to rework it, add more words, smooth out the language, but it wasn’t happening. In the end, to save face, I decided not to go.
For the rest of the month, I tried to fix the sound of my words. I wanted to get the rhythms right. I studied favourite performers—comedians and authors whose work I always liked hearing out loud. I analyzed their techniques. Yet, I never got much further along.
I was feeling lost and frustrated.
Expansion
Fortunately, at the end of October, I attended a workshop offered by the Saskatchewan Writers Guild.
In that session, we did four-minute exercises, and it felt good. The writing was still clunky, but I managed to get words on the page. I let myself go instead of holding myself back.
I sought out the book mentioned in the course, Writing Without a Parachute. It advised writing for an hour openly and freely, without a plan and without overthinking it. Just jump and fall and see where it takes you. I’d been feeling so controlled for so long, after all this shrinking, this was a little shocking.
But the other way hadn’t been working. So I thought, why not give it a try?
The first day was a lot. I felt the strain. But the more I did it, the easier it got. Like retraining for a marathon I hadn’t done in years.
I began to see a way out.
Finding Balance
Shortly after, I went to the SK Writers Guild conference. On the second day, I was sitting with two writers who were discussing that evening’s open mic event. Three minutes, and they’d play you off with music if you went over.
I was worried. I still didn’t have a piece, but I’d already missed my opportunity at the start of the month. I had to try.
All day, I worked to shrink a story about my sister to fit the time limit. A lot of the story was cut to get it there. Things I believed were important were tossed aside. But in the end, the writing felt stronger.
I went to the event and thought I’d get some time to acclimatize to the room. Maybe get picked near the end. Unfortunately, life had other plans: I was called second.
Despite practicing all day, the moment I started reading, all the emotions kicked in, and I struggled to get through the story. I finished, slunk to my chair, a little embarrassed.
But the people around me said, “Good job.” And despite feeling it had gone poorly, I was happy I did it and knew I would do it again.
So after months of shrinking, I’m beginning to expand. I’m forcing myself to write longer, messier, without so much of a controlled tightrope. For now, I’m a work in progress.
In other news
It wasn’t until the middle of the month, walking with a friend and talking about what I’ve been up to, that I realized—damn, I should be putting this in the newsletter. So without further ado:
Introducing Norma Dunning
I was honoured to introduce Norma Dunning, Governor General Award-winning author, as the new writer in residence at the Regina Public Library back in September.
Book Fair - November 22nd
My writing partner and I have a market coming up at the end of the month. We’ll be at Regina Bookwyrm’s Book Fair on November 22nd from 10:00 am to 4:00 pm at HMCS Queen (100 Navy Way). Please stop by to see us and other local authors!
A Death Worth Living by Trey Stone
I received an advanced reading copy of my friend Trey Stone’s book A Death Worth Living. The premise: Jacob dies at twenty, and a mysterious figure guides him through his memories to confront who he was. He’s offered the chance to change one thing about his past—if he dares.
It reminded me of A Christmas Carol, The Midnight Library, The Book of Doors, or Tuesdays with Morrie—books about confronting the life you’ve lived and the choices you’ve made.
I’m biased because Trey’s a friend, but I really like how he’s grown as a writer. This is tighter and more controlled than his earlier work. If you’re looking for a quick, thoughtful read, it’s worth picking up.
New Writing
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Until next time,
David